


Morning Mishap

by samsg1



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Coffee, Crack, Fictober 2020, Gen, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prompt Fic, Team Dynamics, Tumblr Prompt, teamfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26950408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samsg1/pseuds/samsg1
Summary: Jack tries a prank on Daniel during a briefing.Crack!fic; not to be taken seriously!Written for Fictober 2020 Prompt Day 11&12: "I told you so" & "Watch me"
Comments: 9
Kudos: 19





	Morning Mishap

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this silly story that jumped into my brain fully-formed the instant I read the Tumblr Fictober 2020 prompt "I told you so". No idea where it came from XD  
> Un-beta'd, all mistakes are my own.

“Sir, he’s definitely going to notice,” Sam said with a bemused smile as her commanding officer seated beside her slipped the now-empty bottle of vinegar under the briefing table and into his pants pocket.

“Indeed, Daniel Jackson is a most observant man.”

“Is that a joke, T?” Jack spluttered in disbelief at his stoic friend. It really was hard to tell when the Jaffa was being serious or attempting human sarcasm. Shrugging, he continued, “Anyway, you know he’s been up the past two nights straight translating that cuneiform something-or-other. I’m telling you, his brain is totally fried.”

“He looks alright to me, though, Sir,” Sam countered as she studied her friend across the table. He looked capable enough to her, at least, as he organized his notes, completely oblivious to his teammates’ discussion. He was to deliver his findings to the General on the ruins they’d found on P4C-977 two days prior, and seemed completely engrossed in his thoughts about his discoveries. The General himself, however, had been caught up for a good while by a red-phone conversation, and it was likely to be a while yet before the briefing would start. The Colonel had certainly already had time to slip out the briefing room to the commissary and back flashing the contraband condiment, tamper with the coffee pot, and re-take his seat at the briefing table. Meanwhile, Daniel hadn’t given any sign that he had even noticed his friend's absence.

Sam watched as Daniel gave a terrific yawn and accidentally crumpled some leaves of paper together, causing him to scrunch his eyebrows together in annoyance at himself.

“You sure about about that, Carter?”

As Sam sat bemused at the scene before her, her heart gave a tiny jolt as she felt her commanding officer suddenly lean into her and place his lips against her ear. 

“You know,” he whispered quietly so Daniel wouldn’t hear, “I saw him going into the ladies bathroom on twenty-one earlier, and I don’t think he even realized his mistake.”

It was all Sam could do to stifle her rising giggle to not raise Daniel’s attention. Then to her surprise- but not Jack’s- all of his papers suddenly slipped out of his grasp and scattered all over the floor.

“I told you so,” Jack smirked with a twinkle in his eye, before pulling away from his proximity to her to allow her to get up, watching on as the rest of his teammates all scrambled to gather the scraps of paper together.

“Told us what, Jack?” came Daniel’s confused voice from under the table.

“Oh nothing, Dannyboy,” Jack replied smugly, settling further into his chair, enjoying the scene.

When the chaos had settled, with the papers back in some semblance of order, and when everyone was seated again, Daniel gave a second, even more outrageous yawn. Glancing to check that Hammond was still in his office with the red phone still pressed to his ear, Jack seized his chance.

“Late night?” Jack asked casually, setting the first piece of his trap.

“Yuh-uh-yeees,” Daniel croaked still mid-yawn, before his expression suddenly lit up. “Actually Jack, you won’t believe it, but it turns out that the Mayans were in fact-“

“Ah!” Jack cut him off animatedly, waving his arms. “Save it for Hammond, I don’t need to hear it twice.”

Sam couldn’t help a snort escaping, before throwing Daniel a sympathetic and apologetic look, but Daniel seemed nonplussed. He was more than used to their leader’s disinterest in his archeological findings in the eight months or so they’d spent together on SG-1 so far.

“I’m sure you’ve been working hard and learned a ton about some people that died a long time ago, yaddah yaddah, but first things first you look like you could do with another coffee, Dannyboy,” Jack said jovially. 

“Wow that’s nice of you Jack, yes please.”

Sam noticed that her CO was barely even attempting to mask his mischievous grin as he reached across the wide briefing table for Daniel’s empty mug, clearly pleased that the bait had been taken so easily.

Daniel must have been incredibly tired after all, Sam thought, as there was no hint of suspicion in Daniel’s voice at Jack’s unusual gesture that she could see.

 _‘Watch me,’_ mouthed the Colonel, and she watched as he turned towards the coffee pot, though not before throwing back a boyish wink at herself and Teal’c. Then he took a step toward the pot before freezing on the spot. 

A gasp escaped her as she saw what he’d seen: General Hammond was now standing beside the coffee pot wearing a most grotesque grimace, his own coffee mug pressed against his lips, and they all saw as he instantly spat out the contents of the mug over the top, spraying down upon the floor.

“WHAT IN TARANTION!?” he bellowed at the room.

Sam watched on in horror as in perfect comedic timing the vinegar bottle that Jack had earlier haphazardly stuffed into his pants pocket now slipped out and clattered to the floor, before rolling towards the General and hitting his polished shoes with an offending clunk.

The General’s eye locked onto the culprit in fury and disbelief, making Jack yell, “D’oh!” before making a run for it.

“COLONEL O’NEILL YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!!”

“What’s- ah- going on?” asked Daniel sleepily, reappearing from behind his papers mid-yawn again, completely unaware of the circumstances.

“I find myself most confused by this world’s complex social customs,” Teal’c murmured to her, as she buried her face in her hands, unsure whether to laugh or cry. Colonel O’Neill was genuinely the strangest commanding officer she’d ever had. And while she held genuine respect for him, she just hoped that she wouldn’t end up in a disciplinary hearing over one of his pranks. Least of all over beverage-tampering.

THE END


End file.
